Every first and fifteenth day of the month on the lunar calendar, it is customary for my family to burn joss-sticks and incense paper as offerings to my ancestors. This is a tradition of my religion, Taoism. Personally, I am not a staunch Taoist. I do not know much of the “Way of Tao” and I have just discovered that I know only 6 of the 38 major festivals in Taoism, according to this website. As far as I am concerned, I do exactly what my parents tell me to.
I do not like the smell that joss-sticks emanate; somehow the gases emitted from smoldering joss-sticks sting my eyes. Moreover, I hate the fact that some irresponsible people simply burn incense paper and offerings on the pavement, damaging public property. The government has designated metallic containers at the void decks for people to burn incense paper but most of those who refuse to burn offerings in a common container argue that “their ancestors will not be able to receive the offerings”. I do not question their beliefs but my take is that any orthodox religion teaches people to be non-destructive and to be socially responsible.
For my family, we burn incense paper in a metal tin (25cm by 25cm by 35cm) along the corridor. Having lived in the same HDB unit for more than 20 years, we have never received any complaints from our neighbours with regards to burning offerings along the corridor until a year ago.
One particular morning, my neighbour, a middle-aged lady, decided to confront my father. While the latter was offering joss-sticks, she approached him, interrupted the ritual and commented that the smoke has been making her home very sooty and that it is illegal to burn incense paper along the corridor. My father is a calm person, one who is not easily intimidated by threats. He ignored her remarks temporarily, completed the ritual, then replied coldly, “Go HDB to make a complaint,” and he proceeded to burn the offerings.
My father insisted on ignoring the threat, while my mother decided that, in future, she will bring the metal tin to the void deck when burning offerings. Apparently, my neighbour did not make the complaint, as we have yet to receive any warning letters from the HDB. If I were in my neighbour’s shoes, considering my dislike for smoke, soot and vapours from joss-sticks, I would definitely lodge a complaint.
Upon closer examination, I find that this conflict is not purely intercultural. If it is, all my former neighbours who are not Taoists should have complained. However, this is the first time in twenty years that a neighbour has ever complained. So it would probably suggest that my family did not have a good relationship with my current neighbour and this is merely an outlet for them to vent their frustration. Nonetheless, there exists a conflict of interest which is intercultural, as by burning incense paper along the corridor at our convenience, we have been indirectly dirtying the neighbouring apartments.
UCS1001 S21 Tri1 2024-25
3 weeks ago
Hi Ji Wei,
ReplyDeleteI am going to assume that your neighbour isn't a Taoist since you didn't mention anything regarding that. Being a non-taoist, she probably didn't understand the rationale behind the burning of incense papers and was more concerned about the cleanliness of her home.
However, I feel that your neighbour did the right thing by not making a complaint. It could have complicated matters and worsen the already not-too-good relationship that you share as neighbours. On hindsight, perhaps your father could have taken not so harsh a stand towards your neighbour's complaint. He could have apologised and on future occasions, alert your neighbour to close her windows and doors before burning incense papers. That would have been a win-win situation. Your family could continue burning incense papers in the corridoor, and not offend the neighbour in question.
Thanks for sharing your experience.
Hi Geok Ting,
ReplyDeletePardon me for not mentioning that my neighbour is a non-Taoist. What amazes me is that if the condition is really as bad as she claims, then I would have to applaud my former neighbours' tolerance towards our religious rituals.
I do agree that my father can be very harsh (well, i inherited that from him) and apologizing is not his forte.
Ji Wei
Hey Ji Wei,
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing your experience. I agree, it may not have been an intercultural conflict. It could have been that your neighbour was having a bad day and the smell could have been the straw that broke the camel's back. If it had been an intercultural conflict, your neighbour would have complained more than once and then filed a complain to the Town Council.
My next-door neighbours are Taoists, they practise their religion openly and they used to make their offerings, burning incense paper in the metal tin along the common corridor. Whenever they do that, my family would close all windows and turn on the A/Cs. I assume that either someone had told them about the smell or they got the hint through our non-verbal actions since they've stopped burning incense paper along the common corridor.
I guess it depends on the individual and their tolerance level.
Catherine
Hi Catherine,
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing on how you cope with Taoists' rituals as a non-Taoist. Now that you mentioned, I haven't been noticing if my neighbours close their windows and turn on the air-conditioners whenever my family burn incense papers along the corridor.
To some extent, I am glad that this incident occurred, because now my family knows that we have been socially irresponsible for more than 20 years. But as you and Geok Ting mentioned, i believe there should be a more peaceful method to handle this situation to create a win-win, without spoiling the relationship between neighbours.
Ji Wei
Hi Ji Wei!
ReplyDeleteA very late comment but better late than never!
I think there could be many reasons why she is so against it. Maybe she or her family member have asthmatic problems? What I am suggesting is there can be many reasons why she dislike your family burning the incense papers. It will be great if your father or any of you can talk to her calmly about it and understand the situation from her perspective. Then, from there, come to a common consensus. I think your mum's idea of burning the incense paper downstairs is a good idea!
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Ji Wei, for sharing this incident with us. I'd agree with the observation made by at least one of your commentators (and by you after reconsidering this). It's probably more of an interpersonal incident than an intercultural one. Of course, the disagreement was initiated by a cultural practice, which is a factor.
ReplyDeleteYou describe each aspect of the issue here quite clearly.
One comment you made raised my eyebrows: "...my take is that any orthodox religion teaches people to be non-destructive and to be socially responsible." My understanding of orthodoxy and yours might be different. Be that as it may, I'm not so convinced that being "non-destructive" and "socially responsible" is universally promoted by orthodoxies. That might be a good thing for you to explore some time in the future when studying physics on a particular day becomes tiresome. I'd like to read THAT report, too!
Thanks again for your effort at inspiring our thoughts!