Possessing an adventurous spirit and love for the outdoors, I joined the Outdoor Activities Club (OAC) in National Junior College. Having 4 years of experience as a Quartermaster in the scouts’ troop of my secondary school, I was appointed as the Quartermaster in OAC to be in charge of the logistics and camp craft training.
As the school was undergoing a restructuring process, it was announced that clubs and societies that did not win in competitions would be closed down and OAC was one of them. I was disappointed but I understood the school’s rationale. It became apparent that there was only one solution: Join and win some competitions. Odds were against us, as our seniors in OAC had never taken part in any competitions. Moreover, most of the people within the executive committee saw little hope and thought that any effort would be futile.
However, I believed in defying the odds and within the short span of 2 years, I participated in several competitions organized by the local universities and achieved results that were previously unheard of in OAC. For instance, In 2002, I led a team of three and won the second prize in the Adventure Jamboree organized by Nanyang Technological University (NTU). In 2003, I led another team and won the first prize in the Urban Escape Ubin Challenge organized by Singapore Management University (SMU). Not only did these achievements prevent the closure of a club, they encouraged future members of the club to actively participate in more of such competitions.
When I received an invitation to the Speech Day in 2004 for an award, in appreciation of my contributions to the club, little did I know that this award is typically given to either the president or the vice-president of the club. I found out later that the teacher-in-charge evaluated my contributions and decided to make an exception to give the award to me despite the fact that I am not the president of the club. This meant a lot to me as it proved that so long as I devote wholeheartedly to a cause, I will be able to defy the odds, achieve the goal and eventually be recognized for it. I strongly believe that with this positive attitude, I will certainly be an asset to your organization.
<<< edited on 16/04/09 3:50pm >>>
UCS1001 MME Tri2 2023-24 Dynamic Thinkers
2 weeks ago
Hi Ji wei!
ReplyDeleteYou told a nice story about how your perseverance brought your OAC club to glory. However, I felt you could have linked to the organisation a little more. You mentioned you will be an asset to the organisation. Why? Maybe you can try finding the connection between your traits and the company's values.
Hi Ji Wei,
ReplyDeleteA well written and focused personal statement which indicates to the reader you're positive and upbeat and not easily defeated. Good job!
Ji Wei,
ReplyDeleteThis is a beautifully developed statement, full of confidence and passion. You organize the discussion of your work with the OAC in a manner that allows for maximum effect, leaving the reader with a strong positive impression right at the end --- and thus you have made your case!
There are a few areas that you can address to make this even more fluent though:
1) I joined as a member in the Outdoor Activities Club (OAC) in National Junior College. > I joined the Outdoor Activities Club (OAC) in National Junior College.
2) ...that did not win in competitions will be closed down.... > ...that did not win in competitions WOULD (describing a future hypothetical event from a past perspective) be closed down ....
3) ...that there is only one solution.... > that there WAS only one
solution....
4) the most of the people in the executive committee > ?
5) and in 2003, I > . In 2003, I
6) ...who is not the president of the club. > ?
Thank you for the exemplary effort!
Jing Ping: Point noted, I guess i forgot to think in the employers' perspective. I will try to weave some of the key requirements of the job into the personal statement.
ReplyDeleteGeok Ting: Thank you for the compliments.
Brad: Thanks for the compliments and recommendations.